The 1965 Patent That Proposed Spinning Mothers to Help Them Give Birth
Some patents are strange because of what they claim. US Patent No. 3,216,423 is strange because someone seriously proposed building it. Titled "Apparatus for facilitating the birth of a child by centrifugal force", it was filed by George B. Blonsky and Charlotte E. Blonsky of New York on 15 January 1963 and granted on 9 November 1965.
How it was supposed to work
The patent argues, in language that has aged badly, that "more civilized" women often lack the muscular strength to deliver a baby quickly. Its answer is to let physics help. The mother is strapped onto a large circular table with her head near the centre and her feet pointing outwards. A motor then spins the table, so that centrifugal force pushes the baby towards the outer edge.
The document goes into real engineering detail. It describes a heavy base plate, a variable-speed motor with a speed reducer and hand brake, a ballast deck on the rotating structure, and straps, thigh plates and boot members to hold the mother in place against the forces. To catch the baby, the patent describes a pocket-shaped "reception net" made of strong elastic material and lined with cotton; the arrival of the baby in the net is designed to stop the machine. As a further safeguard, a centrifugal ball governor, like those used on steam engines, is meant to shut the device down if it spins faster than is safe for the patient.
The prize
In 1999 the Ig Nobel Prize for Managed Health Care went to "the late George and Charlotte Blonsky" of New York City and San Jose, California. The organisers' citation sums up the invention: the woman is strapped onto a circular table, and the table is then rotated at high speed.
The patent lesson
Nothing in US law requires an invention to be wise, only new, non-obvious, useful and adequately described. The Blonsky patent passed those tests on paper. Whether anyone would want to use it is a separate question that patent examiners do not answer. The patent expired long ago.
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